Today's Highlights

Well, today was a very very tiring day indeed. Started off by a 50 minute walk to the station in the morning and then catching the train into the city which took another hour. Then I had to work for 4.5 hours running around and smiling at people. Boy, it was rough. But anyway, today was a day of many highlights:

Hightlight #1
The cute guy I work with walking in on me changing, me in my bra, then him turning bright red and screaming "Sorry!!" and running out. That was hot. Haha.

Highlight #2
Meeting up with my second mixi friend. Karen was my first mixi girl I met up with. We started chatting due to Australia つながり and met each other when she came to Japan on exchange. That was cool. We still even talk on the phone and chat to each other, when we have gone back to Australia. Today I met Kyo, who I also met on mixi. However, the way we met was very interesting. We are both in the North Shore Community and I happened to be looking through on one of the postings, when I come across a picture of my brother. That was totally bizarre, seeing a picture of my brother in Sydney, posted on a community in mixi. Anyway, so I messaged the dude asking if the guy in the picture was in fact my brother. It was.
So anyway, we met up today and went to Blue Point, which was fantastic. Just sitting there in the open space, looking over the peaceful harbour and sea was so relaxing and wonderful. We became good friends, so I invited him to our party in Osaka when we go back too, so that should be good!
While we were looking dreamily at the Harbour Bridge, we noticed a little round black thing floating across the sky. And it was moving along pretty fast and smoothly. We swear it was a UFO.

Highlight #3
Walking the 50 minute walk back home while listening to various ジャニーズ songs and singing out aloud. Walking back felt like it took longer than walking to, but gazing up at the stars above was breath taking. You can see the stars so clearly in Australia. They are so beautiful. You can see so much, even the Southern Cross. It felt like I could just reach my hand out and grab the stars.

Yeah, well when I got back home, I got a scolding from my grandmother for walking back home at night in the dark... They consider it dangerous. I mean, back in Osaka, I lived right smack in the ghetto area, having to bike through deserted areas where homeless men would sleep underneath cars and have police cars and ambulances buzzing by every 5 minutes, and I would go home through those areas at like 2, 3am. And today, I got home at like 10pm. Man, I feel too old to be scolded at...... lol

Rememberance

Yesterday was Chinese New Year and I was lucky enough to get red pockets :)
It felt like I had 3 New Years this year, since I had おせち料理 in January in Japan, then I had Chinese New Year and Chinese food yesterday, then I had Korean New Year's food today, cuz where I am working now is owned by Koreans.

Anyway, I experienced my first visit for お墓参り to a western and Chinese cemetary yesterday. I was so culture shocked because the way we visited was so different to how you would visit in Japan. First of all in Japan, you wash down the grave with water and clean it. Then you light up おせんこ, place flowers (made just for placing them on graves) and put your hands together and pray with those beady things between your palms. We also bring offerings of food and drinks, or whatever that person had liked. Yesterday, all we did was buy reallyb pretty flowers from a florist (even ones you could like give to someone on their birthday, not the ugly ones like Japan) and just placed the flowers in those things in the grave. We didn't pray or anything. Just kinda said hi and Happy New Year. Also, the size of the graves were enormous. I mean, the Chinese one were sizes of single beds or if you were buried as a couple, then a king sized bed. They were gigantic!! And people were just sitting on them and chatting!! That really shocked me the most. But all these were in a really nice open area, with enough space between each other in the nature, with trees and lots of flowers, whereas in Japan, each grave like just barely touches each other and are put in between like residential houses and stuff.
Also, the western ones have like a little message, whereas the Japanese ones just have their names written on it. You know, it would say like "In rememberance of a loved daughter, mother, grandmother and cherished friend" and stuff. That made me think how I wanted to be remembered as. I hope I get to be all that.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I started working again today, even though it is just a part time job. It's good to be part of society again :) I love working. I'm just doing waitressing again, but oh my god, I love it so so much! It's so fun! I hadn't waitressed since like last November and it made me remember the times when I worked at Savannah (haha). That was so much fun!! Aaah, Savannah. Just typing that word in still makes me laugh. That was the most awful but most interesting place to work at. I even kind of miss it, you know. Anyway, I know I want to waitress a bit in Canada too, hope there are good shops!

Reminiscing

Lately my littlest cousin has been reminding me of how I used to be when I was child. I had forgotten what childhood was like, after being in the adult world for so long and doing adult things. I was upstairs sewing and my baby cousin was sitting next to me doing something. She is the most loudest and brightest girl and is always talking. Whether it is to someone else, or to herself. I found that all of a sudden she was awfully quiet, which got me a bit worried. But, I was much too concentrating on my sewing, so I just casually asked what she was doing. This is how the conversation went:

Me: "Meimei, what are you doing?"
Her: "Jiejie, I'm going to be a hairdresser!!!!!" (squeals of joy)
Me: (my heart actually stopping for a fraction of a second, as I look over to her) "NOOOOOOO!! What are you doing??! You naughty baby!! Don't cut your hair off!! NOOOOO!!"
Her: (laughing and enjoying herself) "Now I look pretty!!!! hehehe"
Me: "No!!! Look at all this hair on the floor! Clean it up!!"

So, she went and got hte little handy broom and duster thing, and starts to mop up the floor. I praise her for being a good girl, when she does something completely unbelievable again. She takes the mopped up hair from off the tiles on the floor and starts to sprinkle it everywhere on the carpet int he living room. And she did it with such happiness on her face, I could've strangled er. So, I get mad again, telling her off for not putting the cut off hair in the bin, but all over the carpet. Then she breaks my heart by saying
"Meimei don't like jiejie anymore. Bye bye."

Well, fucking hell. At that point I felt like screaming back at her "Well yeah?, jiejie don't like meimei either, so there!" But then I would've been really childish, so I just said it in my mind lol.
The thing is, I couldn't really get mad at her, cuz I remember when I was about her age, I went off with a pair of scissors and started cutting my hair. I got in so much trouble for that. I mean, I just wanted to be like a hairdresser and make my hair all pretty. I remember the frustration on my mother's face when she had to cut me a fringe and get it straight.

Home

I'm settling in nicely now and I realise that if I had to, I can live here again permanently (well, I'll just have to get my license and a car though). Alot of things have happened which made me feel really relaxed and happy here. For example, just talking to people. Everyone is just so outspoken and expresses their feelings and views openly. It's really nice to know how people are feeling, instead of having to guess or being expected to know. Also, the random small talk with fellow commuters and shop assistants are friendly and fun too. You just meet eyes with some stranger, and you get a smile and you smile back. That's nice.

Also, I went to the doctor's today, and in a long time I felt no need to feel stressed or 緊張 in any way. I knew exactly what the procedures were, exactly how I wanted to express myself and knew exactly what the doctor was saying to me. Not that I didn't understand in Japanese, it's just that it sinks in faster in English, and it's more comfortable using English in situations where you have technical terms and such. Even just doing some other paper work, I felt so much more relaxed and comfortable doing it here than in Japan. I wonder why's that (well I guess I do know).

One thing I don't like is that I feel too dependent on cars and public transport here. Which cannot be helped anyway, but I do feel lazy. I loved that fact that I could ride my bike into town and save money, be ecologically friendly, and get exercise, but being here I feel tired just walking a few metres, whereas I walked for kilometres in Japan! Oh well, it must be the weather (yeah just blame it on the weather!).

Adaptation

After being here for a week, I found it actually so much easier to adapt back to the western society than I had expected. I thought that I would have forgotten how to do things, how to get around and be the way I used to be, but it felt just like riding a bicycle. You learn how to ride a bike when you were a kid, and then you don't ride it for years, but then one day, you go on it again, and you can ride it perfectly well just like you did, many years back. It's funny how your body remembers certain things, even if our minds take a bit longer.

I do miss Japan. Well, I miss my people there. A friend who's been overseas for a while told me that it was the "3 month hump". After 3 months, I'm meant to be over all that 'missing' stuff and meant to be getting used to life here again. Well, for me I think it was more like the "3 day hump". I mean, I still miss stuff back in Japan, but I am already used to life back here. My American accent has completely dropped, and I actually sound Australian now :) It took me a week, but my accent is back! However, I couldn't understand my friends the other day. They were talking to me and I just sat there, looking at them. I literally couldn't understand them cuz I have been way too exposed and used to the American and Canadian accents. Oh well~~.

After being back, I have noticed stuff. Japan really does spoil you so much. I mean the conveniences, the transport, the places to hang out, the things to do......... Just everything. It's all there. I mean, I can't even get to the station here without a car. And everything closes so soon and public transport here really suck. Well I guess Canada will be like Australia too.

However, I do feel more ease at mind in Australia. I mean I feel like I have no arms and legs, since I don't have a car here, so I feel I am physically handicapped, but I do feel more stress free here. "I can be who I want to be and I am accepted for being that". Individualism is 当たり前 here. The fact that it is a multicultural country, and everyone is from different countries allows people to be different and individuals. And I like being different.
Japan doesn't allow anyone to be different. Being different is a crime. Everyone and everything has to be labelled and put into categories. I mean, the country is obsessed with designer labels and stuff. I found it really hard for me because I was not really in any of the categories. I'm not fully "nihonjin" and I'm not exactly "gaijin" either. So, people would hesitate when trying to label me, and I couldn't handle it anymore. It hurt me when people would not see or accept me as Japanese, or when people would expect me to throw out some western parts of me and be more Japanese. At least in Australia you are praised for being yourself.

Sister? Mother?

Well, it has been 3 days since I came back to Australia, and I am absolutely loving the weather!! It's sunny and hot everyday. It's also so laid back and relaxing. I am currently staying with my aunt, uncle, grandmother and 2 cousins. My cousins are 6 and 3 and half. They are soooo cute!! The last time I saw them was 3 years ago, and they have grown sooo much!!
It's a nice change being a big sister to two girls, as at home I'm a big sister to two boys. The boys always gang up on me and leave me out of things, so it's nice to have two girls. It is such a difference! They really look upto you! Not to mention copy whatever I do! Especially the baby. She now has multi-coloured nail polish on her fingers and toes. I insisted that they would look prettier if she kept to one colour, but she demanded the mermaid purple on her toes and pink and silver glitter on her fingernails. She's very proud of them.

I had forgotten how pure and observant little kids can be. They remember the littlest things, things you wouldn't believe! And they have the most fantastic biggest imagination ever!! They are so full of energy. Also, I knew that parenting and bringing kids up was hard with the discipline and just providing them education and other things, but what I really experienced this time was the difficulty of sibling rivalry. It is so difficult to be available for them all the time. They fight for my attention and want me to love them more than the other one.
I remember when my brother and I used to do this too. We'd fight for mum's attention and speak over the other one. But I didn't know how difficult and at times annoying it could be for the parent. Being a parent is really hard.

But they are so cute and so very special! The 6 year old is so talented and beautiful. She's smart and has talents in dancing, but doesn't boast about it and at times, shy about it. The baby has a complete different personality to her sister, and I could tell that she is going to be out-going, funny and bright, and probably very popular with the boys when she is older. I can tell she'd be breaking a lot of hearts haha. I really didn't expect a 3 and half year old to be able to speak so much! Her vocabulary might even be better than mine!! Kids pick up things so fast!! Her favourite word now is "ass". She comes and kicks my ass and says "I'm gonna kick your ass!!" She loves it cuz she thinks it's a rude word. She also loves calling out my name and when I reply "what?", she says "nothing~~!". She is such a giggly, bubbly girl.

They look upto me and see all my big-girl things like make up, my clothes and shoes and I could tell they wanna grow up quickly. I mean, the baby grabs my breasts all the time and says "You have big boobies!!, I have no boobies yet!". And she copies everything I do. They question everything I am doing, whether it's spritzing my hair with tsubaki oil, putting on nail polish, applying mascara, whatever! It is so cute!! I remember when I was a little girl (gosh I sound so old...) and I looked upto the big girls at school, and I couldn't wait till I was one of them. Well, now it's the opposite. I wish I was still a little girl again sometimes.....

I also love the way they call me. They add jeijei in front of my name (which means older sister in Chinese) and the the middle one is also a jeijei, and the baby is meimei. Back home, I had always and still want my brothers to call me お姉ちゃん onechan or ねぇーねぇー nene, but they never did, and never do. They just scream out my name. It is so annoying. So I am loving the way they call me now! When I have children, I am gonna make them call each other jeijei, meimei or gege, didi before their name too!

The baby has really come attached to me, that she wanted to come into the bathroom while I took a shower. I would close the door on her and she would cry and make me hold her in my arms and she would say "meimei love jeijei". And then I would feel guilty for trying to get her out of the room. But I managed to take her out of the room while I took a shower, I mean I really don't need a 3 year old watching me and her mum thinking I'm some kind of pervert or something lol. She wanted to go to sleep with me tonight as well. The older one would make me play games with her, whether it be games on the net, playing go-fish and snap with cards, watching kids tv shows, or playing school. I enjoyed some kids crosswords today. And I also did some colouring in. It's cool to be a kid again.

I would walk around the house and see things, whether it be toys, books or furniture that we had given them before I moved to Japan and they would bring back so much nostalgia. Like the Hello Kitty telephone which is a real phone. I used to love that phone when I was a kid. And the fan and heater we used to use at our house. I remember using that heater every morning during winter to get changed for school, and how I burnt my stocking on it, cus I was too close to it lol. Also the little pink plastic doggy seat. It still has the stickers I put on it when I was little. How I remembered how it was to be little and young again.

I am so happy and grateful I have the most beautiful and best little cousins in the world. Oh, I feel so loved :) Children are such a blessing.

At the Airport

Finally at the airport, and things I cannot believe have happened!!
I got here like two and a half hours earlier than my flight, and I did not manage to get myself a window seat! Noooooooo!!! PLUS, I find out that my flight actually does stop over at Brisbane, and I have to like wait one and a half hours before transferring to Sydney!! Nooooooooooo!!!

Anyway, even though Qantas Airlines did not provide me a window seat, at least Kansai Airport has provided me a computer to play with to kill time. As I look over to the left, I can see the different coloured lights, all flickering and shining. It looks very pretty indeed. I can also see planes circling around, ready to take off. I've always liked these different coloured lights. Whenever I came to Japan, I would see them, and that multi-coloured ferris wheel, and I would think to myself, "I've arrived in Japan". So, funny now that it's the opposite, I'm leaving Japan, but the same feeling is there.

My views and feelings on Japan have really changed after living here. It does feel more different. Before, it was only a holiday destination to see my relatives and stock up on my shopping, but now, it has become my second home. I wonder how I would feel when I get back to Sydney? Would it still feel like my home? Would Japan feel more like home?

Man, I still have like an hour to go. I could read my book, but I've kinda saved that for the flight and for that stopover at Brisbane I wasn't expecting.....

It's lonely travelling alone, but it could be fun. I mean, I'm used to going on planes by myself, but it still would be nice to have someone there with you. The last time I was going back to Sydney from KIX, I remember I got picked up by some Australian guy. And it was such a coincidence, we were travelling to Australia together, and returning to Japan on the same day. But I think he was going to Brisbane or Melbourne or something. Well anyway, he got boring, so I kinda tried to hide from him on the way back. I know it was mean, but he was bugging me..... I wonder what kind of people I'll meet today?

Buh-bye Japan (part one)

Well, the time has finally come. I will be on the plane back to Australia this time tomorrow.
I still can't manage to shut my suitcase..... I'm only going in the summer time for 2 months, and I cannot seem to pack properly..... I wonder what I'm gonna have to do when I have to pack for a whole year for Canada!! I mean, I just really realised how materialistically silly I am. I'm going for 2 months and I have packed 5 pairs of shoes (not including the ones I will be wearing), so that means 6 pairs for just 2 months.
"Do I really need 6 pairs of shoes??" I ask myself, as I start unpacking and try to lighten my load. I look at my pretty pink flowery dress that I bought last summer, and look over to my gold wedge sandals, with the heart shape cut out at the heel. Yep, I need those shoes for that dress. Then I see the new sexy top I bought at ZARA last week and match them with my light blue jeans. Yes, I need those silver strappy stilettos to go with those. My favourite black two piece halter dress thingy I wore while I worked at Savannah catches my eye. Yeah, I definitely need to bring those browny-bronzey stilettos with the diamonds on it to wear with that, I mean it totally goes with the ring around the belt on the skirt. And I can't forget my resorty black and white summer dress I wore to Bali. Only the black criss-crossy shoes go with them. And I mean, black go with everything right? Oh, and I have to take the silver diamonte stilettos too.

Hmmm..... so as you can see, there was really no point in me unpacking and repacking, cuz the luggage just remains all the same. However, I did finally manage to take out that black dress I wore when I met Rihanna, and a few other tops, but it's still gonna be an effort to shut my suitcase. And it's gonna be another effort at customs too when I have to open my suitcase......

Anyways, other than that, I think that feelings-wise I'm all set to go :) I'm gonna have to leave a little earlier than planned, since it's meant to be really cold and snowing tomorrow. I really hate the time between of checking in and actually getting on the plane. It's so long and it's going to be so boring :( Hmm, I wonder what movies they'll be showing on the plane? Something good and something I haven't seen before, I hope! Oooh! And I hope I get the window seat!! I love looking out the window cuz I'm such a dreamer~. I wonder whether the plane would be crowded tomorrow? I wonder whether I'll be lucky enough to get 3 seats to myself? Or maybe I'll get a really cute guy next to me?! Haha~. Well, it better be really nice and hot when I get there! I expect full summer weather in the 30s!!

So, these are the things I think and will miss when I leave Japan tomorrow:

-My loved ones.
-Hanging out with my fellow Chandelier Girl and talking about boys and other stupid stuff.
-The convenient stores.
-Public transport.
-Being able to go anywhere on my bike.
-The crappy but funny variety shows and t.v. dramas.
-The food!
-オール：カラオケとか～。

Things I look forward to in Australia:

-Seeing everyone again!
-Walking around and seeing everything that has changed, and hasn't changed.
-Just hanging out and pretending I live there again.
-The weather!!
-The food!!
-The different, laid-back environment.
-Being in a western society again.
-The wonderful nature.

Okay...... I just checked Yahoo!7 Weather, and the weather today was only 23 degrees!! WTF??! Oh well, it's rising upto 31 degrees on Monday..... It better be!! (>_<) Apparently I've already got plans on Saturday night, but I wonder what I'll be doing Sunday? Probably meeting relos and stuff I guess... Then on Monday I gotta go out into the city!! Yay!!