夢

Seems like everyone around me has a dream of some kind. Especially those of music. Whichever I turn, someone is telling me to listen to lyrics they wrote, a track they recorded or asking me to go to their performances.
My brother has been writing songs and recording them at studios with friends from Osaka, and friends from Sydney, and has even recorded a few video clips to go with the songs. Their songs have been played on the radio and aired on t.v., back home. His classmate from high school is now a real artist and released her debut single last month and is under the same label as 宇多田ヒカル. My classmate has been singing in a band for as long as I could remember and has started to record tracks and perfom even more. Other friends also perform bands at different venues every week. It seems like everyone has such a strong passion for something, and they are sharing it with everyone.

I had to think back to when was the last time I was on stage. It had been that long. I had always been on stage ever since I was a little girl. I had been dancing since I was 4 and there were the few instruments I played too. Then during high school, I gave up dancing after about 11 years. Then came university, and I started cheerleading. I remembered how much fun and great it was to perform in front of a huge crowd again. Cheerleading was my passion then, and it ruled my life 24/7. We trained about 4-6 hours everyday and it was my whole life.

And now, I realise that I don't really have that strong feeling or dream these days. No passion to really centre my life in. The people who have these dreams, whether it's a big dream to become a professional performer, or just a passion for performing, all look really キラキラ to me. みんな光っている。すっごくキラキラしている。
私もまた輝きたいなぁ～☆

Boxes

It was moving day part one today.
I moved out of my beautiful apartment in Osaka, back to my house in Nara.
It was so sad (>_<) I loved my pink and white apartment!! I loved how I could ride my bike out into Minami at any time and I loved those late nights out.

It was love at first sight. I remember going to see the apartment and deciding on that day that I wanted to live there. Then I had the fun of decorating my new place with new stuff in all pink and white. Man, I was so damn proud of my pretty little place （*^-^*）

I was still packing boxes till the very last moment when the movers came. It was so sad to see the high boxes that were stacked up against the wall, disappear gradually, until there was just an empty corner left. As the boxes were carried out, I felt like my whole life was getting packed into boxes and moved somewhere. My lovely white bed was dismantled and carried out. I would probably never ever use that bed ever again..... Then the t.v. and stereo went out, and the fridge and microwave, then everything else until there was just an empty room left.

I'm glad to be home, and happy to be able to spend some time with my family before I go, but I really miss my apartment!! I hope I'll be able to live in a really nice place in Canada too! When I was younger, I had always dreamed of living on my own when I was older, in a stylish apartment that was like 10 stories high with a pool and gym in it. Well, this apartment wasn't 10 stories high, it was more like 5, and it didn't have a pool or a gym in it since this is Japan, but it was my 理想の部屋。 And I got it without thinking too much about it too! I hope that I'll be able to get my dream home soon too (^-^)/

*~The Butterfly~*

The fluttering butterfly is wandering off again. This time, back to where her egg had hatched.

Yes, I am going home and I cannot wait!! It is where I had spent my caterpillar years and where I started to get ready to develop my wings. It is the place I had been for 18 years. I'm happy to be going back and excited to see my friends and hometown, but I do have mixed feelings about it.
The last time I went back was after I had lived in Japan for a year, which was nearly 3 years ago. When I got back to Sydney I was so happy to see my friends and familar surroundings, but I felt like I had never really left in the first place and the year I had been away was just a blank and Japan was a far away dream. After I returned to Japan later on, I decided to go back to Australia after graduating Uni. However, I ended up staying in Japan longer.
I wonder if this time round I would feel the same again and feel like I had never left and the years I had been here would be like a far away dream too?

Even though I am ecstatic that I am going to the summery-blue sky, laid back country I have known all my life, I also feel like I am leaving the place I now know so well and going to a place I hardly remember. I have adapted too much to where I am now and in a comfortable place.

When we move to a different country, we try so hard to learn the language, the culture, the customs, etc. Well, most people do that and still remember the language, the culture and the customs of their original country, but I feel as if I've forgotten how things work back home...... My English vocabulary has gone out the window, and I don't know whether I could get used to living in a Western society again.

Did you know that some butterflies migrate? They migrate over long distances too. They fly a distance of 4000-5000kms. I wonder if they ever miss where they were from and wanna fly back?